Thinking about the contemporary Christian music scene is so far down on my priority list that writing this article is causing me a boatload of frustration and disgust at the wasted time and brain cells spent spewing out this massive rant, but as Michael Corleone lamented, "Every time I try to get out, they keep pulling me back in..."

It all started a couple of months ago when our church librarian informed me that she was canceling the library's Christianity Today subscription because, "No one reads it but you." Then she put the knife in, "We're going to go with some magazines that might be more popular."

My first impulse was to kidnap about a hundred books, hold them hostage, and send a ransom note demanding in no uncertain terms that our little book Nazi swear on a stack of King James Versions a mile high to keep up the CT subscription in exchange for the books' safe return. My clever plan would only succeed if I ransomed books that the other library patrons cared about. Then I remembered the Little Red Chief miscalculation. Drats!

Our library's popular stuff, like the Mitford series, the Left Behind series, the child rearing and marriage mending books stay checked out all the time with lengthy waiting lists. My plan now seemed ultimately futile, given the iron-will of our librarian. She would laugh in my face and call my bluff knowing all I had was dusty old doctrinal studies, theological treatises and commentaries that hadn't been checked out since 1955. Yeah, she could wait me out, and probably use the shelf space for new cookbooks!

Plan B then popped into my head: use my vast power and influence as former chairman of the deacons to enlist the senior pastor, the deacon board, the personnel committee, and the finance committee to block the cancellation. But then I remembered from personal experience that within the Baptist church committee structure it can sometimes take years to accomplish the simplest tasks.

A devious librarian could bog down my righteous crusade with dozens of obstructionist parliamentary tactics. If she set out to "slow walk" my request by insisting on so many studies, meetings and reviews, a decision to reinstitute the CT subscription might be deferred until after Judgment Day. In Heaven I wouldn't need CT, and if things don't work out, I'm sure Hell will have plenty of religious literature available in its library. Some to torment us with reminders of the times we ignored the gospel message. Some, like the Max Lucado books, just to torment us with banality.

That led me to envision Plan C: threaten to withhold a portion of my tithe equal to the sum of an annual subscription rate to CT from the thousands of dollars we tithe every year. But that plan would be nixed by my wife who wouldn't let me.

I am fully aware that none of these plans sound very Christ-like or spiritual. My "fruits of the spirit" basket, in theory (at least according to Jesus and the Apostle Paul), is supposed to be filled, but is often empty or littered with rotten fruit. I've not been much of a "fig bearing" tree, and admittedly need some remedial work.

The sour attitude prancing through my warped brain sounded perilously close to the one copped by Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5. So I kept my yap shut, and bummed silently in my own private Idaho. Though sorely tempted, this encounter ended as a short-lived victory over the powers and principalities in my world. Alas, I soon skidded off the runway into the agony of defeat.

A few weeks later I lifted my self-imposed "protest boycott" and drifted into our church library to see what had bumped off CT. I discovered the March 2001 "Special Collectors Issue" of CCM--Contemporary Christian Music--mocking me from my beloved CT's old spot on the rack. Newman!

I loathe the very notion, the concept, the enterprise, that takes one of the creative arts--like music--and consciously dedicates itself to forming an exclusive club of artists bound by certain narrow, ridged parameters. After they're bound and gagged, then they're put to the grindstone by cruel, greedy taskmasters to prefab a product for a boneheaded, niche audience. That's the formula for artistic mediocrity, and the road most traveled by the secular musical industry.

Alas, the recipe for mediocrity has also been enthusiastically embraced by the contemporary Christian music industry and sanctioned by their official sycophant--CCM. What makes the CCM industry more repulsive to me than the secular music industry is the fact that CCM follows in lock goose-step the trends and tastes of the secular industry. If a vocal group of four midget yodelers burst onto the scene and sold a million CDs for Columbia Records, bet the house that within six months Myrrh or Sparrow will have themselves an agape knockoff midget yodeling band. Mediocrity is tolerable, but copycatting mediocrity isn't.

Many have recently come to see the artistic folly of the CCM concept, and have written well about it. I'll mercifully move on, and leave you with these three recommendations: Mark Joseph, The Rock & Roll Rebellion: Why People of Faith Abandoned Rock Music--And Why They're Coming Back (Broadman & Holman Publishers: 1999, 316 pgs, $12.99); Charlie Peacock, At The Crossroads: An Insider's Look At The Past, Present, And Future Of Contemporary Christian Music (Broadman & Holman Publishers: 1999, 219 pgs, $15.99); Jay R. Howard and John M. Streck, Apostles Of Rock: The Splintered World Of Contemporary Christian Music (Univ. Kentucky Press: 1999, 299 pgs, $29.95).

Ok, ok, one more tiny jab. CCM artist, musician, producer and insider Charlie Peacock (who has 3 albums in the top 100, but that's another matter) explains the significance of his title At The Crossroads for those not familiar with Robert Johnson (1911-1938)--"The crossroads is the place where aspiring musicians strike that deal with the devil, and Robert [Johnson] claimed to have struck such a deal" (quoting author Robert Palmer, Deep Blues). In "Cross Road Blues," Johnson bemoans his Faustian bargain--his soul in exchange for musical artistry and mastery: ("I went to the crossroad/fell down on my knees/Ask the Lord above 'Have mercy, now/save poor Bob, if you please'/Standin' at the crossroad, baby/risin' sun goin' down/I believe to my soul, now/po' Bob is sinkin' down).

Peacock's book is excellent, but when he invoked the crossroads metaphor for CCM, I chuckled and thought, "My kingdom for the day CCM reaches the crossroads!" No CCM artists have struck that bargain yet, or surely we'd be getting better music and better lyrics. [Editor's note: If some CCM artist out there has indeed signed that contract, they need to be advised to sue and get their soul back because the devil hasn't lived up to his end.]

I would elaborate, but my therapist has advised me "to let it go."

Now if you think I've still got some unresolved issues with the contemporary Christian music concept, then you haven't sat through my primal scream therapy sessions regarding CCM--the magazine! (Oh, by the way, Charlie Peacock points out that "CCM" is a trademark registered to CCM Communications, home of CCM Magazine and CCM Update, and thus, Peacock sought for and obtained permission to use "CCM" throughout his book. I'm using "CCM" without permission because I could always switch to "ccm" or "CCCM" (contemporary crappy Christian musak). I'll let the CCM lawyers decide.

Think of it! An entire magazine dedicated to supporting the schlock mediocrity of a dubious industry. CCM is a parasite, a lamprey, a tapeworm, and like all bloodsuckers it has a vested interest in the health, growth and survivability of its host. It has no interest in artistic integrity, striving for excellence, musical innovation, lyrical poetry or beauty.

That's why CCM is a Tiger Beat without the wit and sophistication. That's why the pages of CCM numb you with perky happy talk in a bland, thoughtless style written at a teletubby IQ level. The CCM staff and contributors are timid toadies with brown noses caked so thick it looks likes a newfangled sunscreen. They certainly cannot, or will not, bite the hands that feeds them. Any of the rare forays in that direction have been tepid, nonspecific and short-lived.

So let's just say I was nonplussed that Christianity Today had been sacked for CCM. But I've been working on some new Zen serenity-inducing mantras ("see your future...be your future") and I could have walked away--except for one thing. That March 2001 CCM cover openly taunted me with its claim to have authoritatively pronounced the all-time 100 greatest albums in Christian music. As Saint Paul said, "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

That's where the Al Pacino quote comes in. I snatched that CCM off the rack and checked it out. That inanimate, glossy siren beckoned. I was being tested again, and this time I failed with flying colors.

Now that I've openly shared (heh, my therapist was right, it does feel pretty good to share, but I ain't ever gonna buy into that group hug technique), and duly disclosed my perspective to you, I'm off the hook.

This article legally exculpates its author and publishing company from any psychological harm that may come to sensitive readers who voluntarily continue to read from this point forward. I did a little "critical" review about a year ago on the banality of the song--one little song--"Friends" by Michael W. Smith, and from the vociferous responses you'd thought I'd beheaded cute little Wishbone in front of thousands of kiddies and their soccer moms. Again, I wasn't looking for trouble, but when I read that Smith had performed the "Friends" song at the Columbine Memorial Service I lost it--a post traumatic stress syndrome 'Nam flashback--with one hitch--I was only ten when the Vietnam War ended. (My therapist is confused, and still working with me on that one). You've been forewarned.

First, let me state the obvious. Any top 10 or top 100 list reflects a certain amount of subjectivity on the part of the list makers. But there's also some degree of objectivity, especially when it comes to defining the pool from which a list may draw upon for its top 10 or 100.

For example, my list of the Top 10 NBA basketball players of all time might begin with Michael Jordan, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar or Magic Johnson. My dad's might begin with Larry Bird, Bill Russell or some other Celtic coot. My idiot co-editor's list surely will begin with Dr. J--Julius Erving--or Wilt Chamberlain. But certainly nobody, nobody, is going to put the former center for the Chicago Bulls, Will Perdue, in a top 10 list, a top 1000 list, much less in the number one spot unless they're a crackhead. And if Joe Namath's name appears on someone's list, then, well, we'll escort them to Bellevue for a warm rubber room and a fresh box of crayons.

When I read the CCM list, there appeared to be some Will Perdues and couple of Joe Namaths. The CCM Magazine article, "Music By The Numbers," written by Steve Rabey (who bears absolutely no responsibility for the fiasco, he was just the messenger), provided no hint of the controlling criteria for album inclusion or the relative ranking of one album above or below others (see pgs 26-30). The article was essentially an advertisement for the new book, The 100 Greatest Albums In Christian Music, Thom Granger, General Editor (Harvest House:2001, 251 pgs, $14.99), with a collection of comments on the results.

Yeah, you guessed it. I went out and bought the book to see if there was some justifiable rationale--some explanation, however lame--for the Will Perdues and the Joe Namaths. There wasn't.

There was only this vague mumble in the Introduction by general editor Thom Granger, a former editor of CCM Magazine: "[A]ll participants [a "prestigious group"] were instructed to take into account popular impact as well as that which they judged to be artistically excellent." Granger then goes on to charge the prestigious group of Freida's Correspondence School of Music Criticism and Hair Salon graduates with "ranking them in order of importance."

I suppose Will Perdue's mother might make a passionate plea for his inclusion on an NBA Top 10 list, and we would understand and excuse her, but there's no plausible explanation for including Joe Namaths on an NBA list, except a double digit IQ.

The Joe Namath problem is the inclusion of a name outside the field or parameters of the list. In the previous example, we were trying to list the top 10 NBA basketball players of all time. We can fling stats, and championship rings, and MVP titles around to argue that Jordan is one and Erving is seven, or Bird is one and Johnson is two, but putting Joe Namath's name on the list brings the enterprise to a screeching halt. While Joe Willie might be an excellent selection for a Top 10 greatest NFL players list, or a Top 5 greatest NFL quarterback list, to place him on the NBA list is Alice in Wonderland incoherent.

Every top 100 list must have a specifically defined field of candidates from which to select. The CCM bimbos were so incompetent they couldn't even define their own field or consistently stick to it. Therefore, the CCM book and list is fatally flawed and includes Joe Namaths on an NBA list. Here's why.

The book claims to be a list of "The 100 Greatest Albums In Christian Music," but it's really only the list of the alleged 100 greatest albums in Christian music within the parochial, small genre known as Contemporary Christian Music--an American genre created about 1972.

The title is strikingly misleading because the book is not a list of the greatest albums of Christian music from all over the world, or of all time. [Editor's note to CCM panelists: Christianity is a world-wide religion dating back to the first century, and devout believers have produced music reflecting their faith and worldview pretty much since day one. "When they (Jesus and his disciples) had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives." Matt. 26:30 NIV. [Editor's note to CCM gang: "Jesus and his disciples" is referring to the historical person named Jesus of Nazareth and his actual, historical disciples--this is not a reference to the gangsta rap group newly signed by Sparrow].

It is true that the phonograph was invented by American Thomas Edison and albums have only been available since early in the 20th century, but recorded on some of those albums are performances of Christian music written centuries ago, and some of it by Christians living in other parts of the the world, not just in Nashville since 1972. Despite the limited scope and genre of CCM, a Top 100 list of CCM albums still could've been interesting, and certainly fun.

Don't waste your time on this particular effort to produce a list because the lack of rhyme or reason makes reading The 100 Greatest Albums In Christian Music like reading The 100 Greatest Western Movies Of All Time only to discover that the book primarily covers Italian westerns since 1972, and only those Italian westerns that contain fart jokes, but oddly, there are a few American movies sprinkled in for no apparent reason--except that they leave out Blazing Saddles.

The 100 Greatest Albums never makes sense and it's easy to see why.

The CCM goobers never explicitly define their field (for them "Christian music" does not really mean all Christian music), but they do work from an implicit ad hoc pool of candidates. Yet, from time to time, they stray from their pond to look for bigger fish. It's like watching kindergartners work on a group project until they get bored, abandon their project, and start tinkering with the other group's project.

Seriously, even high school newspaper editors would've had the common sense to know that the first order of business is to precisely define their field. So why couldn't these alleged professional journalists do as much?

The record should reflect that the doofus CCM "journalists" are: Lou Carlozo, Anthony DeBarros, Thom Granger, Laura Harris, April Hefner, Lucas W. Hendrickson, Robert Mineo, Wendy Lee Nentwig (no, that's not nitwit), Brian Quincy Newcomb, Dwight Ozard, Jamie Lee Rake, Melissa Riddle, Gregory Rumburg, John W. Styll, John J. Thompson, Dave Urbanski and Chris Willman.

While we're talking about these guys, the "music critic" acumen demonstrated in the essays accompanying each album on the list is no better than the insights offered by those gum-snapping teenagers on American Bandstand: "It's got a great beat and it's easy to dance to" or "It doesn't have a great beat and it isn't easy to dance to." It's downright embarrassing to the entire Christian community. Music reviews by Forrest Gump..."This album's like a box of chocolates..." But I digress.

It's not that complicated to define the field. In the three books cited above, the authors struggle successfully to produce a definition of CCM despite a number of inherent problems caused by CCM's historical development.

Apostles of Rock, penned by two sociologists, concisely states the problem: "What, then is contemporary Christian music? According to Deena Weinstein, a musical genre must, at a minimum have a particular set of fundamental sounds by which it is distinguishable from other genres...at the core there must be a code of sonic requirements to which a piece must adhere if it is to included under the generic label. In the case of contemporary Christian music however, Weinstein's argument is unworkable, for there is no sound--no sonic code that defines CCM." (p. 8).

Apostles of Rock goes on to note that CCM artists have moved from a folk rock sound through heavy metal, industrial metal, punk, blues, pop, rap, new age, Celtic, alternative rock and electronica. Clearly, CCM is not defined by a sound. Apostles notes that instead CCM has been defined by 1) faith of the artist, 2) lyrical content, and 3) the organization, with its network of production and distribution that delivers the artist and lyrics to the Christian community as the unifying ingredient.

This definition is supported by CCM insider Charlie Peacock, who defines CCM as "Christianized pop/rock music" and a "community of artists, industry workers and audience members," and later as the "industry which funds, markets, promotes and disseminates" CCM. Elsewhere in the book, after listing jazz, blues, classical, folk, rap and rock, Peacock concludes, "Contemporary Christian Music implements all of those styles and more; therefore, it cannot possibly qualify as a genre using the standard means of classification." (p. 100).

Within CCM there is a growing debate about its definition. Apostles of Rock spells out the three divisions: 1) lyrics of worship and praise produced by Christians for Christians; 2) lyrics vaguely spiritual or inoffensively secular ("wholesome entertainment") sung by artists who happen to be Christians making music for whomever desires to listen, and 3) lyrics expressing a Christian worldview on any topic under the sun by Christian musicians desiring to transform culture with their art (Peacock falls into the third category).

CCM has room for all three, and thus, the unifying factor--what makes CCM a genre--is the industry and organization that produces and distributes the product. Christians are free to make music within the CCM organization or outside of it, but it is only CCM music if it comes from within the organization.

Clearly, the first conceptual sandtrap the CCM journalists stagger into is the unexplainable failure to declare that their list is only composed of CCM products, and limit it to such. Well, one explanation is that a more honest and accurate title like The 100 Greatest Albums in the Subculture of American Evangelicalism Made By Bland White Musicians is probably not as enticing.

Mark Joseph compares the CCM genre with the Negro baseball leagues. "...[A] new ghetto of American music, known as contemporary Christian music (CCM) emerged...What made CCM remarkable and unprecedented was that an entire genre of music was created solely on the basis of lyrical content rather than musical style...result[ing] in the creation of a whole new "Christian music" industry...CCM executives created their own musical universe, including "Christian" radio stations, record labels, music magazines...which catered exclusively to a small segment of the Christian community...it was never any more effective at impacting the culture with the abilities of its members than the old Negro baseball leagues were in showcasing the talents of its players for mainstream America." (p. 6-7).

Therefore, any list of the top or the greatest "Christian music"must first declare whether it includes all Christian music, or only that from the CCM league. If it is just a top CCM greatest album list, the selections must come from the CCM industry/league, just as a list of the greatest Negro league players must come from players who actually played in the Negro leagues and produced impressive stats while playing in the Negro leagues.

For example, let's say we're going to do a top 5 list of all-time great Negro Leagues homerun hitters. Babe Ruth, with his 714 major league homers is ineligible for inclusion. Why? He never played in the Negro leagues. Likewise, Henry Aaron with his major league record of 755 homers is ineligible, though black and the greatest homerun hitter of all time. Why? Aaron only played for less than a year with the Indianapolis Clowns, and only hit a handful of homers in the Negro American League. The same with Willie Mays and his 3rd all-time 660 homers. He played for about two years with the Birmingham Black Barons and only has a couple of dozen homers in that league. Further, no Japanese baseball player is eligible, nor are the Cubans.

To be eligible for this hypothetical list, one must have played in the Negro Leagues and hit homers while on the League payroll to qualify for inclusion.

The "Sultan of Swat" for the Negro Leagues is Josh Gibson (perhaps the greatest home run hitter of all-time in any league, but that's another list) with his career of more than 800 dingers. To include Babe Ruth, Hank Aaron or Willie Mays is to commit the Joe Namath error. Hank Aaron and Willie Mays, though black and great baseball players, are ineligible. We show signs of a triple digit IQ when we refrain from mixing apples and oranges.

CCM is a subgroup within the musical recording industry which produces American Christian pop music. CCM has been around since the early 1970s. Thus, no album on the list will be made no earlier than about 1972 (which is actually the case), all will be in the English language (check), will be American (oophs), will have been recorded on a well-known Christian label most likely in Nashville (blown big time), will have a Christian worldview--however vague--and will have been made by artists who at the time claimed to be Christians (probably ok on this one).

Now let's illustrate what some Joe Namath clunkers might be-- those albums ineligible for the CCM list.

I own a two CD set of Handel's Messiah performed by the Toronto Symphony, the Toronto Mendelssohn Choir and Kathleen Battle and recorded in 1987 by Angel Records. While the Messiah is arguably one of the greatest Christian musical scores in history, this performance of it is ineligible for inclusion on the CCM list. Why? It's classical, its essentially non American, and it wasn't recorded by an approved CCM record company.

My four record set of J. S. Bach's St. Matthew Passion, performed by the Berlin Philharmonic, conducted by Herbert von Karajan in 1973 has the same problem.

Classical pieces aren't ineligible simply because they were written by long dead white guys. All 20th century Christian composers like Messiaen, Penderecki, Tavener, Britten, Ives and Gorecki are out too. Oh yeah, and absolutely no Gregorian chanting!

Black gospel is ineligible because it is its own genre with its own record labels. So don't look for albums by the greatest gospel singer in the history of the world, Mahalia Jackson, nor her successor Marion Williams. No Gospel Grammy winners like Shirley Caesar (10 Grammys at last count), Donna Summer (5 total, 2 Gospel), Larnelle Harris (5), Edwin Hawkins (4), Deniece Williams (4), Mighty Clouds of Joy (3), Rev. James Cleveland (3), Hezekiah Walker (1), Yolanda Adams (1), The Fairfield Four (1), or The Dixie Hummingbirds (1).

The CCM list should contain nothing from other black gospel greats like The Canton Spirituals, The Blind Boys, Fisk Jubilee Singers, Harlem Boys Choir or The Caravans. Nothing from the hundreds of Mass Choirs. For example, Carol Cymbala, choir director of the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir, has been awarded 3 Gospel Grammys in the 1990s. Neither she nor the other great choirs are eligible.

Further, R & B artists who have albums on the top 100 greatest albums of all time like Aretha Franklin (15 Grammys, 2 in Gospel) and Al Green (9 Grammys, 8 in gospel) should note that their Christian albums are ineligible.

Nothing from jazz is eligible. Duke Ellington was a devout Christian and wrote Christian/spiritual scores like Black, Brown & Beige (with Mahalia Jackson on vocals) and three concerts of sacred music: Concert of Sacred Music (1965); The Second Sacred Concert (1968); Third Sacred Concert (1973). These scores and the resulting albums are world renown, but they're ineligible. The Brian Blade Fellowship, Charlie Haden's and Hank Jones' Steal Away: Spirituals, Hymns And Folk Songs (Polydor, 1995), Wynton Marsalis Septet's In This House, On This Morning (with Marion Williams on vocals)(Columbia, 1994), Cyrus Chestnut's Blessed Quietness, Charles Mingus' Blues & Roots (Atlantic, 1960), David Murray's Speaking In Tongues (Justin Time, 1999) and John Coltrane's A Love Supreme (MCA Records, 1965) aren't eligible for inclusion, just to name a few.

The same goes for white gospel/southern gospel. No Gaithers (3 Gospel Grammys), Rambos (2 Grammys, one for Dottie, one for Reba), The Happy Goodman Family (2 Grammys), Statesmen, Kingsmen, Blackwood Brothers (8 Gospel Grammys), or Oak Ridge Boys (5 Grammys, 4 in Gospel).

No inspirational gospel greats like Jake Hess (3 Grammys), Charlie Pride (2 Grammys), or George Beverly Shea (1 1965 Grammy!).

Country music stars who record Christian music are also ineligible. That goes for nine time Grammy winner Johnny Cash (who left Sun Records in the late 50s over Sam Phillips' refusal to let him record an album of hymn classics) Ricky Skaggs, Charlie Daniels, Dolly Parton, The Fox Brothers, Allison Krauss, T. Graham Brown and Marty Stuart, just for starters.

And now for the some ineligible music of which I'm particularly fond--no gospel bluegrass like Doyle Lawson & Quicksilver and Third Tyme Out. No blues gospel like Blind Willie Johnson, and no Sacred steel guitar like the Campbell Brothers, Willie Eason, Ted Beard and Calvin Cooke.

And finally, no musical artists who happen to be Christians in whatever musical genre, who happen to write and sing from a spiritual perspective, and who record on secular labels are eligible. For example, Elvis Presley, Emmylou Harris, Van Morrison, Bob Dylan, Carlos Santana, U2, Creed, Moby, Eric Matthews, Danielson, Damien, Jurado, Pedro the Lion and MxPx are not eligible.

So what does that leave? Not much artistically, but thousands of eligible albums from the nearly 500-750 million dollar a year CCM business of Christians who write either overt or vague Christian lyrics (that controversy is boring and irrelevant--Christian musicians are not compelled to write every single song about Jesus), record in an approved CCM studio (like Myrrh, Benson, Reunion, and Sparrow), have their music distributed to Christian bookstores and outlets, and have their songs/albums played on Christian radio stations.

With our field parameters now clearly established as the CCM wieners should have defined it, let's look at just the top twenty CCM picks for now and see if there are any Joe Namaths.

1) Amy Grant, Lead Me On
2) Larry Norman, Only Visiting This Planet
3) Rich Mullins, A Liturgy, A Legacy & A Ragamuffin Band
4) Mark Heard, Second Hand
5) Keith Green, For Him Who Has Ears To Hear
6) U2, The Joshua Tree
7) Rich Mullins, The World As Best As I Remember It, Volume 1
8) Leslie Phillips, The Turning
9) dc Talk, Free At Last
10) BeBe & CeCe Winans, Different Lifestyles
11) Russ Taff, The Way Home
12)Tonio K, Unchained Romeo
13) Randy Stonehill, Welcome To Paradise
14) dc Talk, Jesus Freak
15) Charlie Peacock, Love Life
16) Bob Dylan, Slow Train Coming
17) Michael Omartian, White Horse
18) Steve Taylor, Meltdown
19) Sixpence None The Richer, Sixpence None The Richer
20) Phil Keaggy, Crimson and Blue

Two of these are clearly Joe Namaths: U2 and Bob Dylan. I own both of these albums and they're great. In fact, I saw Dylan's Slow Train tour. The problem is that neither of these artists have any connection with the CCM scene. They record on secular labels, play on secular radio stations, have their music distributed to secular stores, and move in the secular music industry. They represent the idea of what Christian artists should be. Unfortunately, the CCM brain dead critics didn't have the self-discipline to leave them off the list.

If U2 and Dylan, as Christians who work in the secular music industry are indeed eligible, then the floodgates of great albums by Christian musicians working in the secular industry would wash away the present list.

Further, many secular critics put U2's Joshua Tree in the top 10 rock albums of all time. So Joshua Tree is a whale in the CCM small pond. Yet, it only gets ranked at six. Hmm. Some of U2's other albums are also ranked highly in the top rock albums of all time, but only October makes the CCM list at number 41. Embarrassingly, many real music critics from the secular world view October as a "sophomore slump," and thus, one of U2's lesser efforts.

Objectively speaking, Joshua Tree and many other U2 albums like Boy, War, The Unforgettable Fire, Rattle and Hum, Achtung Baby, Pop, All That You Can't Leave Behind and yes, even Zooropa, are musically, artistically and creatively better than anything Amy Grant ever did or will do. So it's really not fair, or appropriate on this list, to mix apples and oranges. What could poor Amy (whom I've seen in concert) do on stage with U2 while they belted out rock classics like "Helter Skelter" or "All Along The Watch Tower" except maybe shake a tamberine? Could Amy hold her own with B.B. King in a "When Love Comes To Town" duo? It makes me cringe so hard I don't even want that image in my brain.

As for Bob Dylan, the same rational applies. Dylan should have been left off this list. Interestingly, out of the 40 plus albums Dylan has released, most critics would put Slow Train in the bottom half of his work. A good number of critics even consider Saved the best of his "Christian Trilogy." If a so-so work like Slow Train rates in at 16 on the all-time CCM chart, and only 20th or lower among Dylan's personal catalog, what does that say about the quality of the CCM pool? (One Rolling Stone list has Slow Train at 26th and tied with 7 other Dylan albums at 26th, meaning he only produced 7-8 worse albums than Slow Train). Nearly forty years (yes, you Baby Boomers, forty years ago) after Dylan wrote some of his best stuff, artists continue to cover his tunes in droves. In forty years, will anyone think of covering "Baby, Baby?" I have my doubts.

I can see why the CCMers are desperate for quality music, but you've gotta dance with the one that brung ya. Listen to John J. Thompson's admission of the paucity of quality CCM albums in the book's write-up of Slow Train Coming: "How ironic is it that one of the most revered contemporary Christian music albums of all time came from a pop superstar and a secular record company?" (p. 73)

The word isn't ironic, it's idiotic. Let me say this slowly: Dylan's Slow Train Coming album is contemporary, it's Christian, and it's music--BUT IT'S NOT CCM!!!

Side note regarding Thompson who has written Raised By Wolves: The Story of Christian Rock & Roll: I hope his history book is more accurate than his CCM article which states that Slow Train "earned him [Dylan] a Grammy for Best Gospel Album." (p. 74). Dylan won his first Grammy in 1979 for Best Rock Vocal Performance--Male for the song "Gotta Serve Somebody" off of the Slow Train Coming album. The various Gospel Grammy winners that year were: The Blackwood Brothers, The Imperials, Andre Crouch, B.J. Thomas and The Mighty Clouds of Joy. Slow Train Coming has yet to win a Best Gospel Album Grammy.

Also, Thompson's comment, "[W]ith the possible exception of his late-90s album Time Out Of Mind, Slow Train may be Dylan's most cohesive, accessible and enduring album in his impressive repertoire," leads me to wonder whether Thompson may have taken too many bong hits in the 60s. John, when are you gonna wake up and listen to those 26 other Dylan albums that most critics think are pretty darn good?

While we're doing the Will Perdue thing, is Amy Grant's Lead Me On in the same category as Blonde On Blonde or Blood On The Tracks? Frankly, Lead Me On isn't in the same league with even Slow Train, but hey, that's just an opinion.

I also noticed that Ashley Cleveland's Big Town came in at number 27. At that time she was recording for Atlantic, a secular label. Big Town (Cleveland does a killer "Soon And Very Soon" lead in to "Big Town" which makes my top 10 Christian rock songs of all time) is certainly better than Phillips' The Turning at number 8, but this album from Cleveland shouldn't be on this list for the same reasons that apply to Dylan and U2. Interestingly, Lessons of Love, which won a Grammy for Cleveland, is on Reunion--a CCM label. It's the better of the two, and is eligible for the CCM list. So why isn't it on the list? The CCM critics are boneheads and irrational to boot.

Let me say this about Ashley Cleveland--this little woman, wife and mother, could get on stage with Bono and The Edge, hold her own, and even kick their little skinny Irish arses. Listen to her live version of "Gimme Shelter" off of her Grammy winning album You Are There, and write me if you think I'm wrong about this.

The same objection goes for number 52, King's X's Faith Hope Love, which was recorded on the Atlantic label, and the two Bruce Cockburn albums, numbers 28 and 42 respectfully, Humans and Dancing In The Dragon's Jaws, both of which were on Millennium in vinyl, and the CDs now on Columbia (got them both).

Speaking of Leslie/Sam Phillips, she moved into the secular music industry after The Turning, still wrote the same type of lyrics, never renounced her faith, and produced a few better albums than The Turning. The CCM goobers seem to be saying by leaving her later stuff off the list that only her CCM label stuff counts--which makes us wonder why other people's non CCM stuff is eligible.

The same logical disparity is evident with Julie Miller and her Invisible Girl album at number 77. I've got the CD and it's very good. The logical problem is that her two latest albums Blue Pony and Broken Things (again, not with CCM studios) are objectively quantum leaps beyond Invisible Girl. So the CCM half-brain trust seems to be arbitrarily holding to the requirement that an album be recorded on a CCM label at times, with some exceptions, which then blows the logic of the whole list.

I'm going to go through the whole list, as painful as that might be. But for now let me close with this problem.

BeBe & CeCe Winans are black. So are their brothers (biological ones), The Winans. Yes, it's true. They do black gospel, and BeBe and CeCe do it so well that their albums often have a crossover market into CCM and R & B. Their Different Lifestyles (which I own and isn't worthy of its placement at number 10--depending on the logic of this crazy list) is in the loose black gospel vein, but on a CCM label--Sparrow. The Winans family have six albums on this list, some on CCM labels, some not.

So my question is, if recording on a CCM label isn't a strict criterion for eligibility on this list, why not open up the flood gates and let all of the great contemporary black gospel albums take their rightful place in more of the 100 slots?

Look, CCM didn't create this segregation of black and white music, it has been around a long time, and it's one of the last segments of public life where people of both races seem to accept segregation--even to the point of officially sanctioning the categories of white music and black music. Country music is white, R & B is black, like Three Dog Night sang, "The ink is black/the page is white." The Grammys have these categories: Traditional Gospel, Traditional Soul Gospel, Contemporary Gospel, and Contemporary Soul Gospel. Gospel means white, Soul Gospel means black.

I hope that Christians will insist on breaking down these racial dividers because in Christ there is neither male nor female, slave nor free, Jew nor Greek. I recognize that "black gospel" is a musical genre, but when it comes to selecting the greatest Christian music, I was highly disappointed that CCM chose to essentially remain in its narrow white world.

I could understand why all of the great black gospel artists have been excluded if the eligibility requirement for this list is that eligible albums must have been recorded on a CCM label (like Andrae Crouch's two albums on this list recorded on the Light label, and the several Winans albums). But then--

Kirk Franklin has albums on this CCM list at 39 and 73 (got them both, would put them higher), but he records on Gospo Centric, a black gospel label, because, well, Franklin does black gospel and says so in his book Church Boy.

So how did Franklin make this list when Hezekiah Walker, The Canton Spirituals, John P. Kee, Donnie McClurkin, Patti LaBelle, Gladys Knight, Lou Rawls, New Direction and the many other previously mentioned black gospel artists didn't? The same question arises with Fred Hammond at 60 (got it) (Verity) and Trin-i-tee 5:7 (don't have it, don't want it) at 89. Both are on black gospel labels, not CCM labels.

How can the CCmers put any non CCM black artists on the list at all (CCM is overwhelmingly white music)? But even worse, putting some non CCM black musicians on the list, and leaving off other obviously superior, deserving black artists is definitely crack addled.

There' also a racist tinge to CCM's dubious methodology. Think about it. Pasty white Evie, that pathetic excuse for a singer, with her album Mirror (Word, 1977), limps in at 100 on the CCMer list. Those "experts" pass over Mahalia Jackson, Shirley Caesar and Marion Williams, to name but a few, in order to list Evie.

The CCMers are crackheads, all crackheads, or white trash who can't appreciate authentic black gospel, but only that sliver which appeals to whitebread tastes.

Nor does it seem fair to include Dylan, U2, Cleveland and Cockburn from secular labels, and leave off all the worthy black artists and Southern Gospel musicians who don't record on CCM labels, does it? Soooooo...where's the rest of the contemporary black gospel? Where's Southern gospel?

Did CCM only allot a specified number of slots to black artists, like a quota system? Why did the black gospel group Take 6 have only one album on the list when they dominated the last decade in Gospel Grammys (7 total, 2 in Jazz) with one each for these four albums: Take 6, Brothers, Join The Band and So Much 2 Say? Inquiring minds want to know...

The CCMers couldn't make up their minds on the scope of the eligible album pool, and thus, appear stupid, uninformed, and perhaps racist. And because of the inconsistency, the rankings becomes the worst of all possible lists--a hybrid one.

I vow to continue this investigation in a Part 2. As I write these words, I'm unloading a Townes Van Zandt CD from my computer and inserting Grant's Lead Me On. This is going to be a painful process, but somebody's gotta do it....

April 1, 2001 | americanwasteland.com

D. Marty Lasley, © 2001 | All rights reserved.
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